Cookies While Meditating

Most people are smart enough to know that grocery shopping when you’re hungry borders on being catastrophic.  So when you’re hungry AND PMS-ing…and you go to Sam’s Club…yeah, I don’t need to spell it out.

I’d spotted an 8 pound tub of cookies in the bakery section and was circling them like Jaws.  I tried to pull myself together by taking a stroll over by the Slimfast and Prilosec…but five minutes later, I found myself back at the cookies.  I’d just about talked myself out of everything when a little old man rolls up behind me and whispers “Go ahead.  Do it.”

That’s pretty much all I needed to hear. 

“You’re an evil little man, Little Man.”

Probably a Sam’s employee whose only job is to keep an eye out for PMS-ing females who have no self-control and respect for themselves.  I figure I tipped the scales in my favor with the 20 pound box of oatmeal that promptly followed the cookies into the cart.  A glorified guilt purchase. 

So after 24 hours, here’s what’s left.  My kid ate a few of the Snickerdoodles and the spouse ate a couple of the chocolate chunks.  But the majority of the damage was done by yours truly.  And you know what?  I don’t even care. 

I should probably go meditate now.  Get some control over these blasphemous cravings.


One Response

  1. LOL.

    Last night, I was hungry and there was nothing to eat because I’m trying not to be a pig, so I didn’t buy much. But there were some marshmallows and some chocolate chips and some old cereal, so I mixed them together and I ATE THEM! Bwaaa ha ha ha! Then my blood sugar went through the roof and I passed out.

    I was very bad…
    Sometimes I can’t help it.

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