It’s Snow, People. Snow.

I got a hankerin’ for a ham sandwich so I ran down to Harvey’s grocery store to grab a loaf of bread.  But they were sold out…..along with all the milk, eggs, dried milk, firewood, matches, hair-spray, duct tape, lighters and People magazine.  Why?  Because two snowflakes were scheduled to wreak natural havoc and every family with five bucks and a car made the trip to town to stock up on essentials like a bunch of hill people.

The cashier chided me for my tardiness in making ready for the impending doom.  I assured her I’d be fine.  That I’d seen much worse.  Like the blizzard of ’76.  THAT was a prime example of Mother Nature PMS-ing.  Two snowflakes falling was Mother Nature merely popping a bothersome pimple.

But apparently in the South, the threshold for inclement weather endurance is low.  So help me, if I get home and Granny has bundled my kid up like Nanuk of the North and photographed her sitting on a sled in some soggy grass, I’m gonna have a thing or two to say about it.  I’m just glad I wasn’t able to bear witness to the pain and confusion no doubt etched on my daughter’s face when two and two collide and reality registered.

“My very first school snow day…and there’s no snow.”

You can’t begin to prepare a child for that kind of disappointment.  I hope Granny handled this life-lesson without creating too much emotional damage.  Knowing Granny, she went and rented a snow-machine so Cali could have a Bing Crosby White Snow Day.


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