Love, Peace and Easter Grass

“If I had my life to live over,
  I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
      and stay that way later in the fall.
  I would go to more dances.
  I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
  I would pick more daisies.”  ~ Nadine Stair

I’m at that point in my life that is warmly referred to as “Mid-Life”.  No crisis here, though.  I got all that out of the way in my 20’s.  In a couple of weeks I’ll be 38…then the two year countdown to 40 begins.  It just sounds so ominous.  FORTEEE.  Will I get botox?  Lip injections?  Lipo?  A bag of candy?  A new library card?  Heartburn?  All of the above?

Earlier today I watched my daughter head to the store with her Daddy dressed in pink glitter shoes, hot pink striped socks, shorts and some horrible Brittney Spears looking school-girl dress.  Part of me wanted to say, “Hun, you can NOT take that child anywhere looking like that.”  But then the wiser part of me whispered, “Let the child go.”

Let the child go.  Oh, we let her “go” alright.  Some may say we’re even slack in the discipline department…but petty, meaningless rules aren’t our style.  We don’t have many rules.  The biggies:

1)  Don’t bite the hand that feeds.

2)  Don’t spit at me like a camel.

3)  No foul language.

4)  “Yes ma’am” to the ladies….”Yes sir” to the men.

5)  Share your stuff.

6)  Try to let someone else go first at least once a day.

7)  Respect your elders and the animals.

8)  Keep your artistic destruction within the confines of your own room.

9)  Don’t break our stuff.

10)  And our catch-all phrase….”Mind your business, girl!”

We’d like to think our “casual” household environment will give Cali the freedom to express herself artistically and creatively…something that’s imperative to her peace of mind.  AND ours.  I hope that she can maintain this whimsical air of freedom as an adult.  I hope noone succeeds of stifling her strong spirit.  We can’t follow her around, though.  All we can do is instill a sense of individuality and freedom within her. 

I want her to know that you can still be a free-spirit WHILE living within the acceptable confines of society.  We teach her this by remaining free-spirits ourselves.  Anything else would be going against the grain of her true nature.  OUR true nature.  Both my husband and I are finally at a place personally and spiritually where we are free to be ourselves.  Not the “self” someone else would like us to be.  We’re not stifled by the expectations of others; instead, we fully support each other in our weirdness.  I don’t care if my husband like to hang around the house in his underpants, a turtleneck and loafers with no socks.  That’s HIS business.  Sometimes I have to leave the room because the entire combo confuses me.  You won’t wear pants…..but you have to wear shoes?  He doesn’t think it’s weird that I chant while I meditate and never wear shoes.  Well, maybe he does…but he doesn’t say anything about it.  He understands my intense need for privacy in my private life…not from him…but from the rest of the world.  Neither one of us find it necessary to open ourselves up to just anyone who wanders into our life. 

Maybe it’s because we want to protect ourselves from the stinky vibes that swarm around some negative people.  Or maybe it’s because we’ve both been completely abandoned by those we assumed were our “friends” at some point in our lives.  But when we love…..we love unconditionally.  We are accepting of everyone, regardless of their economic status or physical abilities.  Our home is built upon the foundation of “Do Unto Others”.  Being loving and forgiving doesn’t mean you have to “be friends” with everyone. 

I hope Cali picks up on all of this and adopts it as her way of life too.  I hope that she chooses her life experiences and friends without prejudice.  Because sometimes the best friend isn’t the one who has made the most “charitable” donations in your community.  It might not be the one who lives in the big house out by the country club.  Or the one with the most social influence.  Limiting yourself to only these types of experiences and relationships may deprive you of the most influential and profound friendships and life experiences of your life. 

So as I watch my daughter head outside with a pile of Easter grass on her head saying something about being a mermaid stuck in some seaweed…I celebrate her spirit.  And when I’m 90 years old and asked, “If you had your life to live over, what would you do?”…..I hope I can say “Nothing.  I’ve crammed joy into every crack of my life.”

“I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or
catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.”
~ Dawna Markova