The Art of Ugly Christmas Lights

Don’t sit there and tell me there wasn’t a house in your neighborhood that went completely and totally out of their way to turn their yard and house into an abomination of festive commotion.  Maybe YOU are that particular home owner.  (They talk about you at the Association meetings, you know.)  We were never allowed to play with the kids who lived in these houses, either.

“If they do that to the OUTSIDE of their house…can you imagine what the INSIDE looks like?!”

As an abnormally curious kid, it was precisely these houses I wished to enter. I’d lay awake at night and imagine the sinister goings-on that went down in the Houses of Festive Light Bright Happy Times.  Now that I’m grown, I do drive-bys….hoping to catch a glimpse of those who abuse the invention of electricity.  Ever notice that people are never seen entering or leaving these homes?  It’s like they have groundhog tunnels or something.  They probably have an Ugly Lights Club where they all feel a sense of belonging and swap gifts of extension cords and bulb fuses.

Hey, ugly light people: All because you CAN…doesn’t mean you SHOULD.  Mkay?

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