New Year, New Underpants


I’m just playin’.  I buy underpants more than once a year.  I hate it…but I do it.

So.  2010.  For the first half of the year, I was convinced I was riddled with cancer and tumors.  Turns out I was just having a nasty reaction to a colon cleansing performed at the beginning of the year.  I believe the technical term is “healing crisis”.  Whatever they call it…it didn’t feel none too good.

I stopped making resolutions a few years ago.  Don’t get me wrong…I set goals and everything.  I just don’t write them down with a little empty box beside them for checking-off purposes.  So I’m not going to list a bunch of stuff I hope to accomplish in the upcoming year.  Because next year around this time, I’d look at that list and realize I’m not Superman with super-human strength and powers.  Then I’d get depressed and have to bump up my meds.  So no list.

I wasn’t sure about what to write for my final post of the year.  I thought about expounding and pontificating…but figured I’d lose half my subscriptions if I did that.  So.  I decided to give a one sentence description for each month of the year along with one pic.

In all seriousness, my highlight of the year was being named the finalist for AstraZeneca’s National Essay Contest.  My work will be published in several publications and other media outlets, so that makes me a hair nervous….but it’s for a good cause!  Another cool thing was winning two awards for my photography and having an essay published in Louise Hay’s book, “Modern Day Miracles”.

Other than that, here’s what went down.  Happy New Year to you, yours and them!

JANUARY:

We took Cali to her first ever moving picture show about rats who sing and dance which made Mommy and Daddy mad because of how much they had to fork out for lobby-loot, popcorn and soda.

FEBRUARY:

Went to see the Princess Diana exhibit in Atlanta and I spilled B12 vitamin liquid all up in my new handbag and all over my new camera that was taken into the show illegally for to photograph Di’s wedding gown.

MARCH:

Posed and took pictures of my kid’s stuffed animals talking jive ‘n smack.

APRIL:

My daughter picked her nose all month long, including Easter.

MAY:

Got my kid and her BFF all hooched out for their very first ballet recital.

JUNE:

Forced my kid to put on blue eye-shadow and do Mick Jagger impersonations.

JULY:

Took a much needed vacation where we were rudely awakened by screaming and pounding because  our neighbors locked their baby inside after going out onto the deck for some hanky-panky.

AUGUST:

Cali took her twinkled-toed self back to school and Mommy had a cocktail.

SEPTEMBER:

Cali turns 5 and has a ridiculous joint birthday party with her BFF and a horse. (Click on ‘Horse’ to see pics.)

HORSE

OCTOBER:

Went to Disney’s Princess’s On Ice and saw Cinderella all hopped up on Red Bull and Vicodin so she could stand in the same place for 4 hours straight, smiling and waving, smiling and waving, smiling…..and waving.

NOVEMBER:

Got Cali a demonic dog that lived with us less than 30 minutes but long enough to document his goings-on.  (See video below.)

PONCHO

DECEMBER:

I caved and bought my kid an American Girl (Made in China) doll and went on food stamps all in the same week.

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