Chicken Eaters and Doo Doo Burglars

I took a pic of these chicken bones laying on the sidewalk outside CVS yesterday.  They were on the ground DIRECTLY BESIDE THE FRIGGIN’ TRASH CAN!  Now you might think, “Hm.  Chicken bones on a sidewalk.  Why, that’s just absurd!”

It’s way past absurd.  This isn’t some freak chicken bone sighting.  They’re everywhere.  The Walmart parking lot is probably the largest dumping ground, but I never seem to have my camera with me.  But here’s the mystery that has me constipated.  I never see the chicken eaters.  Never.  And I’m always looking like I’m some sort of Secret Federal Agent.  I’ll park then slouch down in the seat so the chicken eaters won’t see me.  Then I’ll use my kid’s Spongebob periscope to survey my surroundings undetected.  But I see nothing.  Then when I get out of the car, there’s a pile of chicken bones right there by my door!  What the WHAT?!

I’ve decided that the chicken eaters are in cahoots with the doo-doo burglars.  You know…the mysterious folks who doo-doo on the floor in public restrooms for reasons we dare not discuss.  Don’t sit there and act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I wonder what the chicken eaters and doo-doo burglars do in their spare time?  Because you KNOW they’re hanging out together.  They probably have an underground bunker with deep fryers and potty stalls.  For to practice their skills.

I’m tired of talking about chicken eaters and doo-doo burglars.  Hey, this one time….at a farm auction…I got attacked by a turkey.  But we’ll talk about that later, mkay?  In the meantime….

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