Harvey Updyke: Most Hated Man in Auburn, Alabama

Good ole Harvey was arrested for the lethal poisoning of the two infamous Oak trees that stand at Toomer’s Corner in Auburn, Alabama…and as of right now, is being held on a $50K bond.  If you love and care about Harvey…don’t pay that bond.  He’s far safer behind bars.

Everyone knows that there’s no love lost between Auburn and Alabama.  The rivalry is infamous down here in the south.  Being a rival is one thing.  Being a sore-loser with a criminal and evil heart is something entirely different.

What makes this thing even MORE disgusting are the comments being made by Alabama fans.  Here are some common ones:

It’s what y’all deserved since you rolled those trees on the day Bear Bryant died.

You can plant new ones. By the time you win another national championship, they’ll be grown enough to roll, heh, heh, heh.

What’s the big deal? They’re trees. Do you know how many trees are killed every year to make paper?

Perhaps Alabama can’t understand the severity of this situation because they have no tradition.  Now, they THINK they do.  They’ll start rattling off stuff like:

*  We won 13 national championships! That’s not a tradition.  It’s a number.

But we got Bear Bryant! That’s not a tradition.  It’s a man.

Okay, but then we got Denny Chimes! That’s not a tradition. It’s a building.

Whatever.  We got Big Al, baby! That’s not a tradition.  It’s a mascot.  And I believe I heard that Alabama fans mocked Auburn when they introduced their mascot, Aubie…saying they didn’t need some stupid animal costume stomping around on their sidelines.  Ahem.

WALK OF CHAMPIONS!  WE HAVE THE WALK OF CHAMPIONS!

Yes.  Yes, you do.  But it’s surprisingly EXACTLY like Auburn’s Tiger Walk that was in existence long before your Walk of Champions.

Alabama fans love their numbers and statistics.  Auburn fans love Auburn.  They love the town, its history, its SPIRIT.  Football isn’t the beginning and end of Auburn.  it’s simply a PART of Auburn.

My husband is an Auburn graduate. Unless our daughter runs off to join some nudist hippy commune, she’ll no doubt be headed to Auburn as well.  There’s a family atmosphere that surrounds Auburn that confuses those who stand outside the city limits.

I have no doubt that Auburn and it’s fans will show their true spirit and pride by planting two more trees at Toomer’s Corner.  And when those saplings mature into strong Oaks…we’ll be able to tell our children about how one college town pulled together and showed the football world the meaning of team spirit.

Meanwhile…Harvey Updyke is quickly becoming the face of Alabama.  And while that certainly isn’t fair to those Alabama fans who condemn this man’s actions….there seems to be far more Alabama fans that congratulate and applaud Harvey Updyke’s show of support for Alabama football.

Personally, I don’t think it’s Auburn that Harvey should be scared of.  It’s those environmentalist folks…the hard-core tree huggers that should make him suck his thumb at night.

For more info about Auburn and the oaks, visit here.

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5 Responses

  1. Some people are just plain mean spirited.

    Blessings,

    Ava
    xox

  2. […] Harvey Updyke: Most Hated Man in Auburn, Alabama « Whimsy – Whimsy […]

  3. wow, does this guy really believe that bama has no tradition? Your auburn education isnt getting you far, because WINNING is definitely a tradition! To me this is classless, so good job contradicting yourself.

    • Jordan-

      This blog has obviously been written by a woman, so “this guy” is hardly appropriate. SHE also never claims to have an Auburn education. In fact, she states “my husband is an Auburn grad”.. which if you would have read would have lead you down that path that she is a woman.

      Aside from your lack of reading comprehension skills, you might want to thumb through a dictionary before you make such ridiculous statements on the world wide web..

      tradition: –noun
      1. the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.
      2. something that is handed down
      3. a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting.
      4. a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.
      5. a customary or characteristic method or manner

      By definition, “winning” is NOT a tradition.

      contradict: –verb
      1. to assert the contrary or opposite of; deny directly and categorically.
      (and in case you were wondering, contrary means opposite in nature or character)

    • Wow. Let’s see, now. You started a sentence with an uncapitalized word. Didn’t capitalize a proper noun. Don’t know the definition of tradition. Can’t spell the one word you did capitalize (albeit all of the letters), and your last sentence should have carried a period after classless and ‘so’ should have, again, been capitalized. Now, let’s talk about education. Of course, you’re (that’s you’re not your as I’m sure you would have gone there) probably like most ‘Bamers I know of and buy your gear at WalMart and may have set foot on the Capstone to watch one of the football games where tickets were being given away or, at best, were deeply discounted. But never to have enrolled in an English class. Cow college? Indeed! And our cows have more command of gramatics, syntax and definition than the average ‘Bamer bozo. So I say a hearty ‘screw you’ to you, Jordan. May the fleas of a thousand elephants infest your armpits.

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