Online Parental Surrogates

Here’s my theory.  Kids these days are born with some bio-cryonic freak gene that makes them computer-savvy at the ripe age of fetus.  I’m just about sick of my 5 year old making me look stupid.  Sometimes I want to get in her face like a Marine drill sergeant and call her names like “Maggot” and “Meat”.  I know that sounds harsh, but the kid is a smack-talker.

So much so, in fact, that her Daddy and I have stopped playing Wii with her.  I don’t have to sit there while some punk kid yells “Boo-Ya!” in my face every time she makes a hole-in-one or knocks me off a horse.  So I got up and walked.  I figure eventually Cali will run into another smack-talker in the wide world of sports and she’ll get what’s coming to her.

I know there are some hard-core moms out there who have made a vow to god and all things holy that their child will never come within 3 miles of a video game.  I’m not one of those moms.  I’m the mom who puts her kid on a leash in the airport.  Don’t judge me.

So anyway….I decided to post my top 5 websites that act as surrogates when I’m bloated and PMS-ing.  I promise you, they’re all kinds of clean and educational and violence-free.

1)  AGKidzone (American Greetings):

2)  Hub World:

3)  Fisher Price (ideal for the wee ones):

4)  Barbie:

5) Funbrain (mucho noggin stiumulation):


2 Responses

  1. Here’s a couple of more you might like:
    I hate to admit it I love to go play games. Oh the places you go as a SUB !

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