Okay…let me just get this out of the way. My poms look nothing like that crazy Martha Stewart’s poms. I think she ironed her tissue paper then had some anal retentive person suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder come make the thing.
I had a half-naked kid squirting glitter glue on me while I was trying to whip this thing up. It sorta resembles the crappy pom-poms they put in those cheap cheerleader costume packs at K-Mart for $19.99.
Anyway…here’s my whack tutorial. (You can find the immaculate tutorial HERE.)
1) Root around in your closet, basement, attic, under the bed…wherever it is you stash your gift-giving paraphernalia.
2) Stack about 8 sheets and fold them accordian-style:
3) Cut each end into a rounded or pointed shape (not pictured).
4) Fold some twine, string…whatever works…in the middle:
5) I used floral tape to cover the barbed wire I used in step 4:
6) Separate the layers, pulling them up from the center one at a time. Martha says it will look just like this…and if it does NOT, then you’re an incompetent wretch who doesn’t deserve to live:
7) Good for you if yours turns out looking just like this. Maybe mine didn’t turn out so well because I used 30 sheets of tissue paper instead of the instructed 8. I don’t care….I’m a renegade:
8) To make yourself feel better about not meeting Martha’s rigid standards, I suggest you dress your kid up like a homeless gypsy and make her hold your creation like it’s the most breath-taking piece of foliage she ever did see:
9) To save your kid future embarrassment, take some fluffy pics too…so she won’t feel like an under-paid marketing tool.
10) Eventually she’ll get fed up and tell you you’re a freak. Try to get one more good pic in while she’s cooperating.
Filed under: Arts & Crafts | Tagged: arts, crafts, flowers, instructions, martha stewart, patterns, pom poms, templates, tissue paper, tutorial | 2 Comments »
Whimsy 
