The Push-Pop Trend

Looks like the long-standing cupcake trend has had a make-over.  And you know what?  I totally dig it!  I’m honked off that I didn’t think of this in the first place.  Of course, the first thing my cheap self thought when I saw these was, “Hope!  I can make push-ups with that cheap sherbet and my kid will never know they’re not the grossly over-priced rainbow ones!”

You can find these push-pop containers at the Layer Cake Shop (my fave place for baking supplies).  I can’t wait to make some of these myself.   These are a few that are inspiring me to binge on cake batter and sprinkles.  (Click on image to visit site).

Easter Peepin’

I’m a Peep freak.  I particularly like letting them sit out for about a month until they’re good and stale.  Then I eat them.  There’s just something about soft marshmallow that bothers me.  Kinda like wheat germ on ice-cream.

Anyway…I couldn’t let this weekend skulk by without honoring my fave Easter treat.  So enjoy my little Peep Peep treasury and a Hoppy Easter to you and yours!

Click on Peeps to enter treasury.

Epic Food Fails

I broke down and tried the McOatmeal yesterday (served all day!).  You know how those snooty wine tasters swish the wine around in their mouth, stare intensely at the ceiling, come to a conclusion then spit the stuff back out in a bucket?  You know what I’m talking about?  Yeah, it was kinda like that.  I even tried to fix the stuff with a cup of brown sugar…to no avail.  So I give the new McDonald’s Oatmeal a big BOOOO.

Perhaps it will join Pepsi Clear and Orbitz in the Food Fail Hall of Fame.  Here are some of those particular edibles you’ve no doubt blocked from your memory due to their disturbing nature.  Wait for it.  Waaaiiit for it…..

Orbitz (1997):

Long before Orbitz traveled, it was a non-carbonated fruit flavored drink that had small edible balls floating in it.  That’s right.  You heard me.  Small.  Edible.  Balls.  Like some jacked up strain of caviar that came from a fish who lived in the sewers of Detroit and talked with a lisp.  I never drank the stuff myself, but I did date a guy who had an unopened bottle of the stuff sitting on his book shelf.  I pretty much dumped him after seeing that.

Crystal Pepsi (1992-1993):

okay, I’ll admit I actually liked this stuff.  There wasn’t even a difference in taste.  They just didn’t put the brown food coloring in.  I’m not quite sure what people were expecting, really.  Maybe tiny little citrus fairies flying up your nose?    Whatever.  The masses saw right through this one.  (Go ahead.  Laugh.  I’m clever.)

Enormous Omelet Sandwich (2005):

Burger King is responsible for this monstrosity of consumer irresponsibility.  It weighs in at  730 calories, 47 grams of fat, 415 milligrams of cholesterol, and 1,860 milligrams of sodium.   I’m sure it didn’t become a permanent menu item due to the outlandish expense of keeping a team of cardiologists on staff to assist those fools who got out of bed and decided that today would be a good day to die.

Taco Bell’s Frito Burrito & Bowl (Unsure of dates):

A.K.A. Toenail Taco & Bowl.  ‘Nuff said.

Wendy’s Super Bar (1980-1990):

Now I remember the Super Bar.  I liked to take that garlic bread that they made from discarded bun tops and pour cheddar cheese sauce all over it, then top the whole thing off with gummy bacon hunks.  This was the layout:  You had the salad bar (obvious), the Mexican bar (tacos, burritos, etc.), and the Italian bar (pizza, garlic bread, etc.).  Apparently the upkeep of such indulgence got too expensive.

Burger King’s Dinner (1993):

I reckon if The King was pointing at me, giving me the hoodoo-voodoo eyes, I might would sit down and pretend to have dinner at the Burger Dump…because truth be told…he owns me.  Maybe that’s why it didn’t last.  They didn’t have that creepy King back then to make the married women hot, the husbands stark raving jealous and put fear in the hearts and bowels of all children under the age of 14. 

Essentially, “dinner” started after 4 p.m., you’d place your order at the counter, find a place to sit and munch complimentary stale popcorn whilst waiting for an employee to bring your dinner basket.  All they did was substitute the bag for the basket.  And the whole employee with an apron on thing?  Let me just say this….you can take a hoe to church….

McDonald’s Arch Deluxe (1990’s):

Here’s what Wikipedia says:

In response to the demographic trend of longer lifespans and an expanding older market, and to its child-centered image, McDonald’s made a conscious decision to attempt to market its food to a more adult audience.

Really?  So what…you wanted to kill off the grown folk too?  The children weren’t enough?  You had to take the parents and turn them into McAddicts?  For shame, Ronald….for shame.

*********************************************************************

I’d love to share more Food Fails, but my kid is running around in monkey underpants talking about Home Depot and mustard pancakes.  I might want to check on that.

Shortcake and Short Dresses

Another Memorial Day come and gone.  I’ve felt like doo-doo the past few days so I didn’t stray too far from home.  After almost year of whining and foliage-related nightmares, the Husband finally massacred the rabid hydrangea bush that had been blocking the sun from the back half of our house since we bought the place.  The kid was in the pool all day and has developed an enviable hillbilly tan and an abnormal appetite for miniature pancakes (she ate 20 in one haul).

I made a massive strawberry shortcake parfait thingy…homemade whipped cream and everythang.  I pretty much ate the entire bowl.  There might me a couple of bites left….maybe.  I promise you they won’t be there when the sun rises tomorrow.

I also whipped up a sun dress for Cali.  I love this Debbie Mumm fabric.  So soft and thin you can barely feel it on your skin.  That’s pretty much the only kind of thing Cali will wear.  If it feels like she’s got clothes on…she doesn’t want to wear it.   (Where did she COME from, anyway?!)

‘Oceans of Fun’ starts tomorrow and I’ll be there to drop the kid off at least ten minutes early.  Woot!

Cupcakes in a Cone

 We made it through the first non-camp day of summer vacation.  Sat down and made out our schedule for the week.  It may sound a tad anal retentive, but I really have no choice in the matter.  The child functions best when on a semi-rigid schedule.  So…semi-rigid schedule it is.  I’m talking curriculum, planned activities and outings.  The whole nine yards.  Only I don’t get a paycheck.  Why else would I be taking an expensive multivitamin every day?  Certainly not for the fishy burps. 

So…after completely reenacting the Chipmunks Sequel and eating waffles, we made cupcakes in a cone.  I was grossly irresponsible and let my kid eat cake batter.  Raw eggs!!  I ate some too…that way if she got sick, I’d be puking right along with her.  Sensible decision, right?

It’s off to Turtle water park tomorrow…where I’ll sit baking in the sun, watching my kid roll around on wet concrete, happy as a clam in mud.  Yippee.

Tiaras, Gratitude and Oatmeal Cookies

I spent most of the morning yesterday baking cookies for my sweeter-than-sugar neighbor who surprised my daughter with a pillow case dress she’d made.  So I baked her up some hearts and tiaras.  I always use the Mrs. Fields sugar cookie recipe.  It’s the most awesome dough of all time.  You can find the recipe here.  The trick is to barely bake them.  The second the bottoms start to turn golden, get them out of there.  Even if they look “raw”…they firm up after cooling down.  Same goes for the oatmeal cookie recipe below.

Now.  Here is the best oatmeal cookie recipe EVER.  I’m not sure where I got the recipe, but here it is:

Oatmeal Cookies

*  2 cups all-purpose flour

*  1/2 tsp. baking powder

*  1 tsp. baking soda

*  1/2 tsp. salt

*  1/2 cup butter

*  1/2 cup vegetable oil

*  1 cup packed brown sugar

*  1 cup white sugar

*  2 eggs

*  3-4 cups quick cooking oats (dough will be thick)

1)  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2)  Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

3)  In medium bowl, cream the butter, oil, brown sugar and white sugar until smooth.  Beat in eggs.

4)  Gradually stir in sifted ingredients until well blended.  Mix in oats.  (An electric mixer makes this MUCH easier).

5)  Use small cookie dough scoop.  Bake 5-7 minutes.

6)  Immediately after removing from oven, lightly pat down the top of cookie with the back of a fork.  This gives that “bakery” look.

Scary Groceries

Grocery cart combinations that make the cashier toy with the idea of pushing the red button discreetly placed under the thumb wax container to the left of the register:

*  Tuna fish, 1 box of matches, duct tape and a box of crayons, 16-count.

*  Rubbing alcohol, hot sauce, Vaseline and grapes.  Red seedless.

*  Razor blades, band-aids and prune juice in a can.

*  Spaghetti sauce, tampons and diapers.

*  Shoe polish, lighter fluid and rubber bands.

*  One toilet plunger, Vicks vapor rub, corn on the cob and Wrigley’s chewing gum.

*  Hot wings, lotion and a Martha Stewart magazine.

*  Four cans of Beanie Weanies, cat food and a deck of playing cards.

*  Cornstarch, pacifier and club soda. Small bottles, 6-pack.

*  Hoop cheese, Gatorade and Glade air freshener.

*  Drano, 3 bananas, 1 bag of charcoal and Cool Whip.

*  Baby formula, ex-lax and 1 tube of chapstick.

*  Mentos, Gas X and Sudafed.

*  Home perm, 8-pack of multi-colored Bic lighters and kite string.

*  Ten gallon aquarium, 1 baby bottle, 1 case of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, 3 goldfish in a bag, 1 waterhose and a bicycle pump.

*  Batteries, Play-Doh and two pink carnations.

*  6-pack Budweiser, Windex and a hammer.  Claw.

*  Two sympathy cards, rat poisoning, a box of Grape Nuts cereal and one bottle of Strawberry Boone’s twist top.

*  Cat toys, potting soil and a shovel