Sometimes I spend an obscene amount of time staring at a blank screen or sheet of paper. Totally blank. Totally blocked. Especially when I’m stupid busy outside of my laptop. I’ve combed over the countless sites out there, designed to “jump-start” your blocked blogging dilemmas…and quite frankly, they’ve only made things worse. So. Here’s my plan. I’m going to pick a random site and answer their blogging suggestions as fast as I can with no thought going into my answers whatsoever.
Okay. Here we go.
1) How to save money on groceries: Starve
2) Tips on using coupons: Everyone hates the coupon lady who holds up the entire grocery line.
3) If I were a television producer: I’d be fired.
4) When I feel frustrated: I eat Toblerones and yell.
5) Things that irritate you: Not enough time, space or wattage.
6) Things that make you laugh: People falling down. There. I said it.
7) What do you want for Christmas: A Michael Kors watch that actually fits my scrawny wrist.
8) Talk from the viewpoint of your bird: My poop is lookin’ like a stalagmite here.
9) Explain why you are superior to everyone: Well, I would. But since everyone else is ignorant, I won’t waste my time.
10) Brainstorm ideas to get our troops out of Iraq: Umm….LEAVE!
11) List some lies you’ve told your kids: Keep cracking your fingers and your knuckles will look like granite rocks. If you keep jumping off the sofa like that, you’ll break your neck and die. If you keep jumping off the top bunk, you’ll break your neck and die. If you don’t eat green things, you’ll get rickets. Keep spilling sugar on the floor and the cockroaches will come chew the legs off your stool.
12) Your most serious injury: Got hit in the face by a line-drive whilst playing softball. Now my left eye clicks.
13) Your worst kiss: Some pimply faced kid named Freddy during church camp. He had braces and smelled like corn dogs and feet.
14) Why you married your spouse: He completes me.
15) Where do you find spirituality? In the God-Winks…the synchronicities.
16) Your childhood dreams: When I graduated from Kindergarten, I wanted to be a photographer so I could make things stand still. Today, I take pictures to make things stand still.
17) If you had a super-power, what would it be: I’d be invisible and steal the cable man’s tools. Then I’d go around and give everyone free cable.
18) Your worst subject in school: Math. I still count on my fingers.
19) Your unexpected mentor: My daughter, Cali. Wise beyond her years.
20) Your biggest fear: Cancer
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