Fairy Houses and Forest Animals

Oh yes I did….zee Fairy House project from days ago.  I couldn’t find real moss, so I bought a bag of moss, mkay?  Mkay…..I opened the bag and (excuse the crassness of what I’m about to say)…but it smelled like pre-packaged poop that had been sitting in a wooden bowl in the middle of the Sahara desert for approximately 10-12 weeks.  It was terrible.  Cali said no fairy in her right mind would live in the place, so I guess that’s why it’s on the sparse side.  Mentally ill fairies don’t need a lot of trivial knick-knacks and whatnot.  I wanted to trick the place out….but that MOSS!

I also whipped up a couple of forest animals…which were immediately swiped and mucked up by the resident short person.  I’m well aware that they look like two unemployed animals who have taken to drinking and eating snacks, but you get what you get.

So that’s it, then.  The kid is passed out on the floor so I’m going to run and drank me some Kool-Aid and eat me some of them Pop Tart mini chip things.

Hot Coffee. What’s That?

I would love to sit here and sip on my coffee and write a leisurely post on why I couldn’t get in to Vassar college…..but I can’t.  Because I have a naked 5 year old standing in front of me hollering about a house being on fire somewhere in the vicinity because she can smell smoke and will drop dead of smoke inhalation if I don’t get up and do something about it NOW.

So I threw a waffle down the hall for her to chase while I post some pics of what I’ve been making/painting/photographing here recently.  Everything is available for purchase at Whimsy Dreams…except for the photography.

Lazy Treasury Day

I know, I know….it’s been a few days.  But I have a good excuse….pretty much.  Cali’s graduation and my art show were on the very same weekend….then I helped with her end-of-school party.  Now it’s summer vacation and I’m busy planning ways to keep the kid from chewing off her arm from the magnitude of sheer boredom.

So.  It’s a lazy post today.  Here are some of my recent Etsy treasuries you can peruse at your leisure.  Just click the pic!

No Place Like Gnome

Hats of Quirk

Friday’s Child…is Loving and Giving

Be An Opener of Doors

Pinwheels Turning

Soul Mates

Gingerbread, Hair Bows and Manipulation

A few days ago, I was informed that Cali’s Granny would be escorting Her Royal Hiney-ness to the Grove Park Inn to view the elaborate gingerbread houses over the turkey holiday.  When HRH realized where she was going, she dropped the not-so-subtle hint:

“I think I will need a gingerbread dress.  Oh!  And a bag.  And probably a little something for my hair.”

This was 3 days ago.  When I passed this on to the Husband, he replied with:

“I don’t know what’s worse.  Her demanding this or you going out and actually making all of it.”

Oh, get over it, Daddy.  This is a girl-manipulating-her-Mama thang.  You wouldn’t understand.

Persnickety Kids

Yeah, you thought I was insulting snobby children didn’t you?  Me?!  For heaven’s sake no!  I was referring to one of my favorite children clothing designers that makes the clouds and rain scoot away.  Well, for ME anyway.

The clothing is designed by Corrine and she originally started the company to help kids in need.  And you know I’m all about that.  For every item of clothing sold, one is given to a needy child.  A most fabulous way to “pass it on”.

Okay.  I think my kid is cute.  I really do.  But Corrine’s children (who she uses as models) are so ridiculously beautiful it hurts your eyeballs.  HURTS them. I hope I don’t get in trouble for posting these pics…but I’m linking them back to you, Corrine!

You can find more pics and hear from Corrine over at her blog.  Let me also say that Corrine has 5 kids.  Five.  I have ONE and I can barely get a button-hole sewn.  And if I DO complete it, it’s all jacked up because Cali decided it’d be happy-funny to shut my sewing machine off mid-stitch.  Yeah, hilarious.

So if you’re interested in these frilly frocks of love, then please check out Persnickety’s.  Do yourself a favor and buy something…for a great cause!

Doll Without a Name

Here’s my newest doll!  Just as soon as my “Whimsy Dolls” labels arrive, she’ll be available for purchase in my Etsy shop.  I finally found the perfect yarn for the hair.  I can’t remember the name of it right now…but it’s soft like over-conditioned hair.  I’m thinking of working on a Mom ‘n Kid set of dolls next.  Stay tuned!

Hobo Bags and Bacon

Okay, this post has nothing to do with bacon.  “Hobo Bag” sounded too blah…so I added bacon.  Everything’s better with bacon.

I love bacon…I love bags!!  I’ve just started making bags of my own.  Please don’t judge.  I’m aware they look rough.  But I’m a novice, man!  I made this hobo bag with a Tommy Hilfiger toile bed-sheet.  The true test will be loading it up with all my junk and seeing if it’ll hold.

I stumbled across a tutu tote bag a few days ago and couldn’t find a pattern for the design I wanted…so…I made my own.  I haven’t started sewing yet.  If it comes out like the picture in my head, it’ll be too cool for school!

I made this wreath thingy for a friend’s birthday.  Really.  I don’t even know what it is.  A wreath?

Off the subject…but remember the kitty that my kid almost drowned a couple of weeks ago?  Here’s her little flea-ridden self.  We’ve named her Punkin.  How could you try to drown such a cutie?!

Craft Fail of the Century

It’s hard for me to know what to say here.  There are some folks out there who should just back away from the craft table…ya know what I mean?  Then there are some who need intense psychological evaluation and possible hospitalization.  The “crafter” of the product shown above is one of those people.

And what exactly IS this botched crafty craft craft?  A mitten?  Mmm…no.  A sock?  Mmm…no.  A kilt gone awry?  Mmm…no no NO.  I want you to brace yourself here.  Go empty your bladder, have prayer and devotions and come on back.

*crickets*

Okay.  You ready?  Okay.  Craft Fail of the century…..(drumroll puhlease)….

REUSABLE HYGIENE PRODUCT…(MAXI PAD)…MADE FROM OLD PAJAMA PANTS AND TOWELS.

You puked a little in your mouth, didn’t you?  It’s okay.  I came a bit unglued myself after realizing what I was looking at.  Then I started thinking….what exactly IS the process here?  At what point did these women look at each other and say, “Our planet is in peril.  We must go forth and sew maxi-pads.  Women unite!”

I thought maybe this particular craft-fail was one in a million.  You know…a lone weird wolf who was out to save the world.  But then Google informed me that I was sadly mistaken.  Turns out there’s an intensely devoted underground movement dedicated to the production, distribution and marketing of reusable feminine hygiene products.  I have no doubt that I’ll receive hate mail after I publish this post, condemning my wonton ways and irresponsible reporting.  Not to mention my complete lack of  a conscience. Would it be out of line if I replied, “Don’t get your panties ‘n pads in a wad!”?

If you think I’m lying, here’s hard-core evidence.  (I’m kinda partial to the Cupcake Maxi myself.)

Riddle me this…ya think these pads could soak up the oil in the Gulf?  THAT would be pretty impressive… and eco-friendly to boot! Just sayin’….

For my readers who secretly want a stash ‘o pads of their very own….here’s a pattern for ya.  Click on the image for detailed instructions.  May the force be with you, ladies.  May the force be with you.

Fabulous Felty Party Favors

If I could get a fat paycheck for giving gifts, I’d be SO all over that.  If there’s no occasion that calls for gifts, I’ll make one up.  I swear, I will.  So imagine my unfiltered jubilation when  I found these felt party favors!  Now I want to crash a random party so I can throw these favors around and leave…..like a happy shiny Robin Hood.  I’d probably get arrested by the infamous Dougherty County Po-Po though….but I’m not skeered.  I’d like to think a friendly felt party favor bribe would wipe my life ‘o crime slate clean.

So behold.  Marvel at the cuteness.  I’m going to make a heaping pile of these things.

Shortcake and Short Dresses

Another Memorial Day come and gone.  I’ve felt like doo-doo the past few days so I didn’t stray too far from home.  After almost year of whining and foliage-related nightmares, the Husband finally massacred the rabid hydrangea bush that had been blocking the sun from the back half of our house since we bought the place.  The kid was in the pool all day and has developed an enviable hillbilly tan and an abnormal appetite for miniature pancakes (she ate 20 in one haul).

I made a massive strawberry shortcake parfait thingy…homemade whipped cream and everythang.  I pretty much ate the entire bowl.  There might me a couple of bites left….maybe.  I promise you they won’t be there when the sun rises tomorrow.

I also whipped up a sun dress for Cali.  I love this Debbie Mumm fabric.  So soft and thin you can barely feel it on your skin.  That’s pretty much the only kind of thing Cali will wear.  If it feels like she’s got clothes on…she doesn’t want to wear it.   (Where did she COME from, anyway?!)

‘Oceans of Fun’ starts tomorrow and I’ll be there to drop the kid off at least ten minutes early.  Woot!